Military Wiki
Advertisement

Christopher Willis[]

American Soldiers with German Wechselapparat (Wex-type) Flamethrower

Willis preparing to burn a house of a suspected communist (circa. 1942)

Born sometime in early 1920, Christopher Willis rose to fame within the Nazi regime when he had coitus with Angela Hitler, sister of Adolf Hitler. Angela was recorded to have screamed with such fright when Willis jumped out of her dresser, that she "wet her knickers". For the next five years, he had an on-and-off relationship with her, until his escape to Kazakhstan in 1945. During his time in the Reich, he is reported to have personally killed 213 Jewish children, 100 Mexican immigrants and 8 Polish refugees hiding out in a bunker. One time, he kicked a cat so hard it blew up. Another time, he order an extra large Domino's pizza and refused to tip, shooting the delivery man through the head.

Little is known about what happened to Willis after his escape to Kazakhstan. However, it is documented that he was captured and killed by libertarian-rebels in the city of Karaganda in 1956. A local newspaper described the story:

Cavi

Jacky

"Eight Libertarians marched down the street and barged into Mr. C. Willis's house, brandishing a variety of weapons, including knives, axes, and bazooka. A smoke grenade was thrown into the room, allowing the gang to slip inside unnoticed. Creeping up the staircase, one Libertarian knocked softly on the door, declaring himself in a feminine tone to be Willis's 18-year-old mistress, Jacky. Opening the door, the naked Willis was surprised to see eight, hairy men instead of his young, slick femboy. His body was found at 8:15 AM with 24 stab wounds, 3 deep cuts in the head and left arm, 5 9mm and 1 7.92mm bullet wounds as well as a chunk of his torso missing, possibly due to the bazooka strike. Jacky was unavailable for comment."

Advertisement